42 Years and Counting

Anyone who has been married more than 10 minutes and tells you it’s all been wonderful, is most likely fibbing. At least a little.   Marriage is hard work from the get-go.  Marriage is work that is "worth it" and the rewards are great.  Arguably I suppose, some of the best rewards life has to offer come from the work of being married.   Marriage is comfort and companionship.  Different factors of the equation for each couple, the sum of which is Love.  Marriage is also frustration, sorrow, anger, and compromise.  Lots and lots of compromise.

I wouldn’t, we wouldn’t, trade a moment of our 42 years and counting. Maybe change a few of them a little, give a tweak here or there, but not change them.  February of 1976 I owned a pair of Levi 501’s, a pair of brown corduroy pants (also Levis I think), 4 tops, a journal, a transistor radio, and a pair of tennis shoes from Food Mart. Joe had a rented apartment, a green Chevy pick-up, and a Honda 550 Four (also green). Both the truck and bike had payments.  Wells Fargo technically owned them. We wanted to get married.  Joe worked in the woods during the logging season and at the Chevron Station during the winter.  Redwood National Park woes were heavy in Humboldt County.  He was a hard worker and that helped him have work when others didn’t.

Nina and Earl Walton were the owners of the Chevron Station at the time.  For those of you old McKinley-Villians, the station was on Central Avenue across the street from where the old Safeway was (now Eureka Natural Foods).  I think it is an empty lot today.  Nina and Earl were two of the most honest and kind people we have ever known.  They taught Joe and I a lot.  And they helped us get married. Nina and Earl gave Joe $300.00 and told him to go get married before he went back to work in the woods for the year.  They knew that once the season started, work hours would postpone any hopes for nuptials.  With their blessing, and a look of surprise on the faces of both our Mothers in the rearview mirrors, we quickly ran off to Reno.  It was February so we settled for the confines of the Chevy instead of the freedom of the Honda.  The $300.00 from Nina and Earl bought us the following:

• A dress for me 
• A shirt for Joe
• 2 gold bands from Weisfields at the old mall in Eureka (sized in Redding on the way to Reno
• Gas for the Chevy
• 2 nights at the Golden West Motor Lodge on North Virginia Street in Reno
• A 126 camera from a Pawn Shop on South Virginia Street in Reno
• A marriage license from Washoe County, Nevada
• A Start

The only photo we have of our “wedding” was taken by the JOP mid-nuptials with the 126 camera from the pawn shop.  With a look of amusement on his Wizard of Oz looking face, he kindly set down his book, picked up the camera, clicked a photo, picked his book back up and resumed his official duty.  Also in attendance were two courthouse clerks (neither one of which resembled an Oz character)  we had rounded up for witnesses.  We hadn't known we had to have witnesses until arriving at the courthouse.  I held my Moms bible and an embroidered hankey of my Grandma’s.  Joe held my hand.

Hand holding is directly connected to heartstrings.  That handholding has helped carry us through 42 years and counting.  Those 42 years have brought us among other things, the following:

• Immeasurable laughter
• Uncountable tears (both of joy and sorrow)
• 2 grown sons who bring us joy and pride every day and who have given us 2 bonus daughters and 6 grandchildren.
• Love we didn’t understand until our children were born, and again when given the gift of grandchildren
• Lost baby’s our arms still ache to hold and lost parents we wish we could speak to again
• Proof that loyalty to our siblings is always worth it - Part of our promise to each other before we were married was that neither of us would ever have to choose between each other and our brothers or sisters.  We never have.
• 35 years of Gyppo Logging and stories the likes of which number in the thousands
• Friends, many who started as employees, who we would do absolutely anything for; some we lost touch with, some have passed.  We have tried to learn from every one of them,  and while some may not remain in “our corner”, we will always remain in theirs.
• A life

The past 42 years and counting brought us a life.  We still have a truck payment, the Honda has long been gone.  We have a house payment and yardwork to do.  We stay in touch with and enjoy time with our brothers and sisters.  We don’t know if we should go out to a sit down dinner or just grab a beer and burger (most likely) before picking up groceries for the week.  We talk to or see our children and grandchildren every single day.  They put up with us.  We have years of experiences, learning, and memories.  Our "Still Want To Do" list is long and varied.   We have an unshakable knowledge that whatever the joy, whatever the trouble, we will go through it together tugging heartstrings, holding hands.   42 years and counting.